Time
Time. We've all heard the old saying "time flies when your having fun!" It's kind of crazy how much our lives revolve around time. And how our perspective on time is different on all different kinds of occasions. When you are little Christmas morning can't come soon enough. Kids are constantly counting down the time for things they are looking forward to. In fact just the other day Charlie was counting down the time until his first baseball game started. I remember when my boys were little I could never tell them what we were going to be doing or where we were going until 5 minutes before. Otherwise if I made the mistake and told them too far in advance I was asked at least 100 times a day per kid "are we going now?" The time just can't go by quick enough when we are anxiously awaiting for something exciting or special. Yet there are also times it seems like the wait is taking forever! You know the kind - when you are waiting on your kids to get out of practice. Or maybe the last hour of the work day on a Friday. It's like you are constantly checking the clock thinking it should be time to go - nope, just five minutes later than the last time I checked! But what about those times where times flies by so quickly - like your lunch break at work. I swear that is the fastest 30 minutes of the whole entire day! Or there are times when your schedule is so jam packed and you are so busy but you want to get just one more thing done and time has run out. The day is over and you couldn't get it all done. Or you just can find the extra time to do one more thing. Or maybe you have so much time to kill in between the thing you just finished and the thing you are headed to. Those are the times I struggle with what to do with my time - read, do one more chore or errand - the choices are endless. What about the time when your kids are little - not sleeping through the night, still taking a bottle and needing 3 paseys (one in each hand and one in their mouth) to go to bed. You think that time is never going to end and we anxiously await the next stage. Or maybe you are at the stage where they are at their senior year and your thinking where has the time gone - have I taught them all they needed to know? Our lives are constantly focused on time. Kenny Chesney sings a song called Don't Blink. And I find the words of the chorus to be SO true.
"Don't blink
Just like that you're six years old and you take a nap and you wake up and you're twenty five
and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife
Don't blink
You just might miss your babies growing like mine did turning into moms and dads
Next thing you know your "better half" of fifty years is there in bed and you're praying god takes you instead
Trust me friend a hundred years goes faster than you think
So don't blink"
I don't know about the rest of you but this is how I feel. The other day at Church I went down to the basement and there were several young couples visiting while all their little kids were running around. And I got to thinking that was me not so long ago - now I'm the "older" lady with older kids. When did I become that woman? Time can seriously get away from us. I will be the first to admit that I didn't always enjoy the younger years of my boys. Having four boys six and under was a little crazy at my house and I was always anxiously awaiting the next stage - just to make life easier. You know where they can feed, bath and go to the bathroom all by themselves!! Well I've finally arrived at that stage -and have been here awhile now. And now I'll admit I desperately miss those years. So those of you with littles - enjoy this time!! I know that it is easier said then done but before you know it you will be helping your kid sign up for high school classes!! Which when did that happen?
So why am I posting about time? What's the big deal Tami? Well last Sunday (April 29) marked the 6th anniversary of TJ going home to be with Jesus. I can hardly believe that he has been gone for that long already. Charlie said to me on Sunday, "Mom, I've lived longer without TJ than with him." Man did that break my heart. That day is still so vivid in my mind. I remember it as if it were today. I was lying in bed with him, holding his right hand with my left and laying my right hand over his chest. His breaths were few and far between. I remember counting how many seconds were between each breath. Then he took his final breath and I could no longer feel his heartbeat. And just like that he was gone and our family was forever changed.
So much has happened in the last six years. And I often wonder what our life would be like if he were still here. How different might it be? How different would he be? I only know the 10 year old TJ. Would he still be kind or would he have that teenage attitude? Would he still have a love for music? And what about his silliness and the love of entertaining? I often wonder if we would be going to jazz band events, plays and musicals? And his love for Jesus, would it be so contagious that he would lead even more people to Christ? We can only wonder.
But lately I've been wondering what has he been up to - what is life like in Heaven? Oh how I wish I could call him up and chat. To hear his voice and see how he is doing. Does he go to "breakfast" with Grandpa Don every morning? Does he sing in the Heavenly chorus? Does he ever stop dancing? And his smile - does it ever fade? Heaven is honestly unfathomable to me. With the song and the recent movie "I Can Only Imagine" - I often image what was TJ's response when he first arrived at Heaven's gate six years ago. Was TJ speechless for the first time? Did he dance? The vision I have is TJ running as fast as he could into the arms of Jesus. And Jesus embracing him, telling him "welcome home, my good and faithful servant."
Shouldn't that be the goal for all of us? To hear those precious words spoken to us when we enter through Heaven's doors. I know I do. I have coasted for too long and I mess up daily, but I'm striving more every day to be more of who Jesus wants me to be. Life is too short - we need to make every day count. Will I get it right every day - no - but that's where God's grace and forgiveness come in and I am so thankful for that. So can't we all try to find some time out of our day to spend with the one who meets all our needs, never leaves us and has saved us - our Heavenly Father.
So let me leave you with some encouraging words from my husband. He posted this on Facebook on the anniversary of TJ's homecoming. I pray that these words will inspire you:
"Six years ago this morning Thomas Jon went home. A place where there is no pain no sorrow. Today instead of being sad I am choosing to be thankful, Thankful for salvation. You see, Thomas was saved. He was not afraid to die because he knew where he was going after he took his last breath on this earth, that place is HEAVEN. But in order to have salvation you must ask Jesus Christ into your heart and for him to be your Lord and Savior. And so let me ask you this, have you done this? Are you leading by example so your kids can see what it means to live for Jesus? Are other things taking priority over your walk? There are no second chances after you take your last breath on this earth. And we all know that we don’t know when that Breathe will be. It might be when we’re 98 it might be when we’re 10. WE HAVE TO BE READY."
"Don't blink
Just like that you're six years old and you take a nap and you wake up and you're twenty five
and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife
Don't blink
You just might miss your babies growing like mine did turning into moms and dads
Next thing you know your "better half" of fifty years is there in bed and you're praying god takes you instead
Trust me friend a hundred years goes faster than you think
So don't blink"
I don't know about the rest of you but this is how I feel. The other day at Church I went down to the basement and there were several young couples visiting while all their little kids were running around. And I got to thinking that was me not so long ago - now I'm the "older" lady with older kids. When did I become that woman? Time can seriously get away from us. I will be the first to admit that I didn't always enjoy the younger years of my boys. Having four boys six and under was a little crazy at my house and I was always anxiously awaiting the next stage - just to make life easier. You know where they can feed, bath and go to the bathroom all by themselves!! Well I've finally arrived at that stage -and have been here awhile now. And now I'll admit I desperately miss those years. So those of you with littles - enjoy this time!! I know that it is easier said then done but before you know it you will be helping your kid sign up for high school classes!! Which when did that happen?
So why am I posting about time? What's the big deal Tami? Well last Sunday (April 29) marked the 6th anniversary of TJ going home to be with Jesus. I can hardly believe that he has been gone for that long already. Charlie said to me on Sunday, "Mom, I've lived longer without TJ than with him." Man did that break my heart. That day is still so vivid in my mind. I remember it as if it were today. I was lying in bed with him, holding his right hand with my left and laying my right hand over his chest. His breaths were few and far between. I remember counting how many seconds were between each breath. Then he took his final breath and I could no longer feel his heartbeat. And just like that he was gone and our family was forever changed.
So much has happened in the last six years. And I often wonder what our life would be like if he were still here. How different might it be? How different would he be? I only know the 10 year old TJ. Would he still be kind or would he have that teenage attitude? Would he still have a love for music? And what about his silliness and the love of entertaining? I often wonder if we would be going to jazz band events, plays and musicals? And his love for Jesus, would it be so contagious that he would lead even more people to Christ? We can only wonder.
But lately I've been wondering what has he been up to - what is life like in Heaven? Oh how I wish I could call him up and chat. To hear his voice and see how he is doing. Does he go to "breakfast" with Grandpa Don every morning? Does he sing in the Heavenly chorus? Does he ever stop dancing? And his smile - does it ever fade? Heaven is honestly unfathomable to me. With the song and the recent movie "I Can Only Imagine" - I often image what was TJ's response when he first arrived at Heaven's gate six years ago. Was TJ speechless for the first time? Did he dance? The vision I have is TJ running as fast as he could into the arms of Jesus. And Jesus embracing him, telling him "welcome home, my good and faithful servant."
Shouldn't that be the goal for all of us? To hear those precious words spoken to us when we enter through Heaven's doors. I know I do. I have coasted for too long and I mess up daily, but I'm striving more every day to be more of who Jesus wants me to be. Life is too short - we need to make every day count. Will I get it right every day - no - but that's where God's grace and forgiveness come in and I am so thankful for that. So can't we all try to find some time out of our day to spend with the one who meets all our needs, never leaves us and has saved us - our Heavenly Father.
So let me leave you with some encouraging words from my husband. He posted this on Facebook on the anniversary of TJ's homecoming. I pray that these words will inspire you:
"Six years ago this morning Thomas Jon went home. A place where there is no pain no sorrow. Today instead of being sad I am choosing to be thankful, Thankful for salvation. You see, Thomas was saved. He was not afraid to die because he knew where he was going after he took his last breath on this earth, that place is HEAVEN. But in order to have salvation you must ask Jesus Christ into your heart and for him to be your Lord and Savior. And so let me ask you this, have you done this? Are you leading by example so your kids can see what it means to live for Jesus? Are other things taking priority over your walk? There are no second chances after you take your last breath on this earth. And we all know that we don’t know when that Breathe will be. It might be when we’re 98 it might be when we’re 10. WE HAVE TO BE READY."
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