Really?!?

So this winter my father-in-law really hasn't felt well (this would have been before Christmas).  He was diagnosed with internal shingles.  The poor guy was in a lot of pain and really not sleeping well.  He decided that he was tired of experiencing this pain and asked the doctor that if there were no tests to see if this really was shingles - let's do some other tests to rule things out.  So the first thing that was ordered was a CT scan.  This scan showed a spot on his lung, so the doctor referred them onto a lung doctor (I can't remember what they are called?)  This doctor decided to order a scope to figure out what this was.  Well, the scope showed up nothing (which we thought was great news) but she decided to order a needle biopsy.  The results of this biopsy show that he has cancer.  My in-laws were kind enough to stop by our house to tell me (Jon was gone on another snowmobile trip).  I held it together while they were here and really tried to stay positive about it - since more tests were going to be done the following Monday and we would know more then.  However, when they left, I completely lost it.  All I could think was YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!!  REALLY?!?!?  We were just here a year ago with TJ.  Come on God, I really don't think this family needs to go through this again.  I'm not sure I can do this again (or any of us for that matter).  I tried to gain my composure so the kids wouldn't ask a million questions.  The next thing to do was just to pray that the tests he would have on Monday would come back with a good report.  He had an MRI of the brain and a PET scan (I think that is how it is spelled).  After these tests were done my in-laws met with the doctor.  The tests showed there was NO cancer in the brain or bones, but they found ONE lymph node that probably had it in it.  So for the most part (minus one lymph node) it was just the lung!!  He also said that it is a less aggressive cancer.  That was what we were wanting to hear - well I guess it would have been better to hear no lymph nodes, but we will take this over what it could have been.  I was rejoicing with them.  So, the next step will be for him to have radiation and chemo.  He will start his treatments next week (Monday - just a couple days later than when TJ first started his treatments).  He will have 30 radiation treatments and chemo once a week.  The doctor also said he thought that he wouldn't loose his hair or be sick.  Which would be great!!  Don still has a full head of hair - this was one thing TJ got from his Grandpa Don - thick luxurious hair!!  (I was always jealous of it!) 

I am blogging about this for one specific reason - PRAYER!  I know you guys were HUGE prayer warriors for TJ (and our family) and I am asking again you be prayer warriors especially for my father-in-law and mother-in-law but also for the rest of our family.  We just got off a terrible journey with cancer just a year ago - it is all so fresh in our minds.  I still can't believe we are going back down this road again - I know it will be different this time.  I have really been struggling lately with God and then he throws us this curve ball and I can't help but think - Really?  Why our family?  Why one year after TJ got diagnosed?  Why cancer?  Why, Why, Why?!?!?!  My faith has been shaken and then a long time friend sent me something in the mail.  The EXACT thing I needed to hear.  She sent me a copy of her daily devotions entitled "The Proper Faith Response".  I read through it and agreed with everything it said - it was if this person who wrote it knew exactly what I had been feeling.  We have no idea how this journey is going to go, what exactly to expect, but we have to "make up our mind and shore up our hearts with the determined choice that we will serve God every day in every way - in, through, and on our way out of adversity."  As my mother-in-law has said many times - "the devil is not going to win!"   I'm going to end this entry with the prayer that this devotional had, I found it fit perfect for our situation:

"Lord, forgive me for the times I lost faith in You when my prayers weren't answered the way I expected.  Teach me how to pray and stand in faith for You to work miracles on my behalf when I'm faced with adversity.  Make me steadfast in my devotion to You, so that I will remain faithful to You, even when I don't get my way.  Thank you that You are worthy of my trust, devotion, and praise!"